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Hitchcock Blonde

By Amy D. Jackson
Staff Reporter

If Alfred Hitchcock had ruled in this century, he would have coveted Lady Gaga’s chronic oddity and chill sophistication. He would have sought to acquire her for his extensive blonde collection. His sorority of blondes included Grace Kelly, Tippi Hedren, and Kim Novak. Of course, the list goes on. Lady Gaga would have proven tigress enough to claw her way into this elegant clique. Alfred and Lady would have entered into a peculiar business romance. No one would have been certain who was the master or the muse. It would have been a tale of the creative beast. Why the allure? Why the appeal?

Lady is answering the call of the wild in the young heart. After all, who can resist catchy tunes crawling with passion?

A person can’t help but be drawn and enthralled by her bloodstained princess spider web persona. It just sticks to you. Lady Gaga is the epitome of cool. Not only does she sport ink she has become ink. She is featured in her own biographical comic book.

Photo via UK Daily Mail.

Lady Gaga has turned the musical world upside down inside out and transformed it into her own personal Freak Show. And she is the Ring Leader. The fashion siren propels herself forward into celebrity by charismatically portraying Madonna 3.0. Her melodramatic performances have become the norm in the world of alternative universes. The shimmering leotards, fishnet stockings, bondage apparel, and sky scrapper stilettos is a howling tribute to Madonna’s Like A Virgin Days.

Long before Lady Gaga portrayed the witch in Hansel and Gretel in Little Boy Lost Girl photo spread, (Vogue, December 2009) or met Queen Elizabeth, she was a young girl crazy about composing music. Lady was born Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta on March 28, 1986. She was something of child prodigy. By the age of four, Stefani was playing the piano by ear and by thirteen she had written her first piano ballad. She was well on her way to becoming Mozart in stilettos.

Eventually, she would emerge as a glam rock Aphrodite performing on the Lower East Side of New York. By 2008, Lady Gaga had been born and her debut album The Fame had already infected the charts. What is so memorizing about this New York girl playing dress up? Well, Lady appeals to the constant craving of exotic playfulness of tweens, teens, and twenty-somethings. Her hit songs: “Just Dance”, “Poker Face”, “Lovegame”, “Paparazzi” and “Bad Romance” make you want to hit the latest club scene and get sucked into the intoxicating flow and get swept away into oblivion for a couple of hours. The biggest why: is Lady Gaga’s dance records are nothing more than lyrical sex. That is the appeal of Lady Gaga the Great.

Depiction of modern-day Hansel and Gretel with Lady Gaga portrayed as the witch from Vogue’s Dec. 2009 spread entitled “Little Boy Lost Girl.” Photo via Vogue/Google Images.

She also shows that young women should embrace themselves even if it comes in the shape of a grotesque sawn. Lady Gaga represents the graffiti marring the once pristine ivy tower in music. Many fans find her quaint morbidity to be refreshing amongst all of the faux rock bands and chick lyrics. Lady’s royal subjects thought it appropriate to honor her highness with a day all her own. So, if this duchess of music is indeed still in vogue next season, unleash the fiend and expose your inner Gaga and celebrate Lady Gaga Day on January 29. Oh, and wear your poker face it’s required for this grand occasion. Eat, drink, and be merry for it will be a while before this vampy lady is vanquished or if ever.

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About wesleyanword

The Wesleyan Word is the official student newspaper of Wesleyan College. Operated and produced by students, The Word is printed twice per month during the fall and spring semesters. Online editions are released every Wednesday throughout the school year. Wesleyan College is a 4-year private residential college for women in Macon, Georgia. Established in 1836, Wesleyan College is the first college in the world to charter degrees to women.

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